Tactless Parents!

Last time I talked about the butterfly feelings I thought could have been the baby moving.  Well, things have progressed since then: From what felt like butterflies has changed to what I’ve heard other pregnant women describe as ‘bubbles popping’ (I know what they mean now!) to full-on occasional little prods: What I can’t tell yet is which part of the baby is prodding me. But all in good time. And, of course, this is developing because the baby is getting bigger and, thus, mummy’s tummy bump is also getting bigger. I’m starting to feel quite good about walking around, sporting a rounded belly that isn’t caused by an excess of beer the night before or a pile of doughnuts the morning after. What I hadn’t given much consideration to is the fact that a number of mums whose children I teach day in day out would also be picking up on this new development and that I would soon be facing those parents on that one dreaded event of the year – parents evening.

“Do you think any of the parents will ask you about your pregnancy?” one of my colleagues nudged me on the morning of the first event.

“Erm…would they? Well, none of the parents know and I don’t think they would just come out and ask me…would they?” I now had a cycle of thoughts building in my mind, suddenly thinking about the possibility of that.

“Well, a couple of them might have noticed by now,” she nodded at my tummy.  “Don’t worry. Just tell them it’s none of their business,” she smiled, obviously sensing my concern.

From that moment, I dreaded the parents coming in to see me…What would I say? How would I react? I decided to let it go and just to keep every parent-teacher discussion professional, quickly changing the subject if anyone so much as hinted that I could be pregnant.

I forgot all about it and, when the time came, met my first parent outside my classroom. She happened to have her baby with her, cradling her in her arms, all dressed up in a little white polar bear onesie. “Ah,” I sighed. “She’s beautiful!”

Mum smiled. “Yes, and she’s a good girl, too. It’s lovely, having her. Well, I guess you will experience it soon too innit.”

I stared at her for a moment, considering going into denial and just saying that actually, I had been putting on a bit of weight, due to a keen love of doughnuts and sausage sandwiches. But it didn't happen that way. 

My eyes darted up and down the corridor to see who else was around. And there was another mum standing right there, her eyes already on us and, on seeing me look over, diverted her eyes down to the floor. She had heard us for sure. 

Immediately the mum who had spoken clapped her hand over her mouth. “Oh. I’m sorry! I didn’t realise. You want to keep it quiet, innit.”

You could say that, yes.

The next parent to bring it up made no effort of subtlety whatsoever.

Plainly – and in front of her child – she said: “So will you be leaving school after your baby is born?”

Crikey! Said so bluntly, just like that!

I glanced at the child I teach, who smiled, as if he was also waiting for me to reply. Oh goodness. It’s bad enough that parents have picked up that I’m pregnant – but the last thing I want is the children hearing it at this stage. I don’t want them asking me about it when I’m trying to teach literacy!

“Oh…so you think that I’m…er..?” I began, unsure of how to finish the sentence.

She nodded, looking at me in a ‘of course I know, I’m not stupid’, kind of way.

“I will definitely be staying on,” I nodded slowly. Whether she meant after maternity leave or if she was assessing the impact on her child if I were to leave before the end of the academic year, I couldn’t be too sure. But I certainly felt like hiding away with awkwardness after that. Honestly, have these parents no tact! It won’t be long before it’s officially announced and then I really will feel like going into hiding: Because some parents will be ruffled by the impact that a change in teacher, before the end of the academic year, will have on their children’s learning. We will see how it goes. Ps. to husband: (Having some doughnuts on hand to munch my way through might help me get through it).